Blue Collar Boyfriend


Warning: Parameter 2 to wp_hide_post_Public::query_posts_join() expected to be a reference, value given in /home/dearhoop/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php on line 286

Need advice? Have a question for Dear Hoopers? Submit here

Dear Hoopers,
I recently went on a few dates with the NICEST guy after being set up by a friend of a friend. We have had a great time and I can’t stop thinking about him. The only problem I have with him is his job. He is a blue collar kind of guy and has no plans of changing. He is in line to take over his father’s company and is quite content to do this kind of work. I’m an attorney from a whole family of professionals. I like him a lot, but I am concerned that his line of work isn’t a good fit with my future. Should I end things now or should I give this a chance to see where things go?
-Blue Collar Boyfriend

Dear Blue Collar Boyfriend,
I’m curious what concerns you about his blue collar employment? Is it a practical concern about your financial future together or is it an issue with how he might fit with friends and family? If it is primarily a financial concern, the bigger question for you is what do you truly value in a relationship? When you look back at your romantic partner later in life, do you want to have chosen your partner based on their personality or their bank account?

If it is a concern about his fit with your family, remind yourself that his financial fit with your family is only one part of the picture. Having a loving partner will go much farther than financial status any day and I’m sure that if your friends and family primarily valued your happiness over status, they would feel the same way too.


Having a loving partner will go much farther than financial status any day.

-Dr. Ryan

You also noted in your question that he has no plans on changing, no plans on chasing the invisible ladder to more and more financial prosperity and career gravitas. While many people do value trying to push themselves to make more money or to push their career growth as much as they possibly can, let me also put in a plug here for the value of being content. Satisfaction is often something that the human heart has a hard time accepting. It sounds like he has found his career in carrying on his family business and that is something that brings him pride and satisfaction.

It sounds to me like you know what is best for your heart. You know you should give this relationship a chance but there is a piece of you that is warning you about “fit.” Instead of arbitrarily discontinuing this relationship, I have faith that if you do decide to continue pursuing it, your heart will eventually show you if he is the right fit for you.
-Dr. Ryan

Dear Blue Collar Boyfriend,
So let me get this straight. You met a great guy, can’t stop thinking about him and now you’re about to throw in the towel because he doesn’t wear a suit to work? Hold your horses sister! You’re having a great time! You’ve had a few dates and are still crushing on him, so there has to be a reason why you’re feeling conflicted.

What are you looking for in a relationship? I know it’s early on, but have you found a connection with him regarding life goals? If an affluent income from a partner outweighs the happiness factors that you have felt with this guy, then do him a favor and call it quits. It doesn’t matter the depth of wallet if you don’t see a future together in terms of life passions and what you value. We all have different needs and expectations for a relationship and if generating income or choosing a partner in a similar socio-economic class is important to you, then it seems like you have already made your decision.


If you are limiting yourself from falling in love because this guy gets paid by the hour, then you may be missing out on a really great person.

-Kate

You have a great job and are most likely doing well financially. Congratulations on your professional achievement! And yes, while money can help make parts of life easier, it typically means more work. And more work typically means less quality time together.

If you are limiting yourself from falling in love because this guy gets paid by the hour, then you may be missing out on a really great person. I would keep having fun and enjoy getting to know him. Who knows, down the line you may become the happiest breadwinner you’ve ever known.
-Kate

Screen Shot 2016-05-13 at 7.04.23 PM