I just turned 27 and am going through what I would define as a quarter life crisis. My friends are getting married and having babies, all things I envisioned doing at this time in my life, and I haven’t even had a serious boyfriend for three years. I’ve lived in the same city all of my life and am feeling antsy for a change. I work for a global company and learned of a few job opportunities opening up in different cities. A fresh start is very desirable. I love my friends and family here, but I’m stuck in a rut. Is this a classic case of grass is always greener or should I take this as a sign that it’s time to go?
-Quarter Life Crisis
Dear Quarter Life Crisis,
Take a chance. Go get ‘em girl! What do you have holding you back? Apply for the job. Apply for both. See what happens.
When I was in my mid-twenties I went through a period of crisis, or discovery. I felt completely alive and completely ungrounded at the same time. I started off my twenty-fifth birthday by jumping out of a plane, and didn’t tell anyone about the experience until I landed safely on the ground. Looking back, that experience was synonymous with the year to follow; incredibly freeing, a bit reckless and completely ungrounding.
Like skydiving, my feet eventually landed back on the ground. Yours will too.
I didn’t have many friends getting married or having babies at that time, but I had a lot of friends that seemed to have a good handle on what they wanted in life and were healthfully pursuing careers and relationships. I did not.
Ryan and I had been dating since college and we were not ready to get married. A few breakups led to one big breakup, which led us to experiencing life apart for a year packed with new faces, different places, and lots of learning that made us both see things differently and appreciate each other more.
You have family and friends that will love and support you along the way. And if the day comes when you decide to return, they will be there. You can always come home. Like skydiving, my feet eventually landed back on the ground. Yours will too. Take this time to fly. Experience love and adventure in a new city. Make a fresh start. The grass may not be greener, but it will be different, and if that’s what you’re looking for, it’s worth the risk.
Dear Quarter Life Crisis,
Despite your success in building a career for yourself with a large company and building roots in your hometown, you find yourself unfulfilled and dissatisfied. If you’re wondering if this is a case of grass is greener on the other side, you’re right. There is likely nothing about your town or your friends that are preventing you from having the life you desire.
However, seeking new grass, even if the grass isn’t any better, can be a good idea. Sometimes a fresh start and a fresh place aren’t special because of the place but because of what they do for you.
Sometimes a fresh start and a fresh place aren’t special because of the place but because of what they do for you.
A new place allows you to try new things and to be a new you; to get out of your same old routine and see if you can find what you are really looking for. Just know that you are still bringing you with you.
That means that if you are in Tokyo or Tulsa the more important change here is your mindset. If you are truly ready to try something new, know that you can do that anywhere.