After my boyfriend and I went to different colleges, he hooked up with other girls since he didn’t think we were “exclusive.” We’re very much back together and committed now, but I can’t seem to keep the fear away when we’re apart. Can I ever relax and enjoy my relationship again like I used to?
In all of our discussions about how to raise future children, we came to the agreement that they would be raised with “both sides”. After he spoke with his mother about me and the potential for us to take the next step, she said to him that if he does stay with me, any kids would have to be his religion and for his family to take control of all religious instruction. He has now come back, and given me a choice of accepting this, or for our relationship to come to an end. He knows how important sharing my religion is to me, and when I say this, he tells me that he would make it up to me in other ways, and that this is the last thing he will ask of me. He has said that it would cause too many issues with his extended family if kids are not raised in his religion. He flat out said that he is not afraid of his mom, but he can’t say no to her. I feel like he thinks “I’m not worth the hassle” to have uncomfortable conversations with both sides of our families.
I’ve been married for 7 years, but I do not love my husband the same way that I used to. I mean I like him more than anyone else in the world, but there is no zing. I love him too but I don’t feel in love with him. It’s hard for me to have physical relationships with him. I don’t want to leave him. I want to fall in love with him and be physically attracted to him. Can you please help me?
I finally found the man that I want to marry. He’s kind, considerate and we work very well together. However last week I found out he has slept with prostitutes in the past. Some traumatic stuff happened to him in his younger years and I think it sort of tipped him over the edge and I don’t really think he thought much about others. He slept with prostitutes 3 times during his 20s. However, he also slept with a prostitute only 18 months ago, in the Philippines, which I have massive issues with as the women there aren’t exactly given a lot of choice. He’s not proud about it, he’s deeply regretful and doesn’t try to excuse any of it.
My boyfriend (I’ll call Jeff) and I have been together for 7 years, and started dating at 18. We both live with our parents, and recently we’ve been considering getting an apartment together, but nearby just in case we break up. Our plan is to move to a different state at some point. Jeff’s dad is a widower, doesn’t have contact with much of his family and has a few friends. Jeff wants to visit his dad EVERY day when we move out. And as far as moving to a different state, Jeff wants to wait until his dad retires (maybe in five years or so) so all three of us can move together. In said different state, Jeff wants to buy a house with an in-law apartment or another cottage on the property for his dad to live in.
For some reason after all this time I did online research and found out that he was married…but I don’t know when and I’m not sure I wanted to know. I am devastated and can’t function. I texted him and said OMG you are married. How can you do that to me? He texted back that he’s done dealing with me and he shut his phone off.
My new husband’s family deals with a very dysfunctional and demanding personality who often engages in manipulation and argumentative behavior. As a new in-law to this family, being on the receiving end of that family member’s behavior has been jarring at best and damaging at worst; and we’ve only been married three months. My best responses have been to remain non-reactive, disengage and take distance… But this is very hard to do when my better half is at times consumed with how to manage the fallout. How do I respond in love, when everything in me wants to call this person out for their childish behavior and slowly phase them out of my life?
