In all of our discussions about how to raise future children, we came to the agreement that they would be raised with “both sides”. After he spoke with his mother about me and the potential for us to take the next step, she said to him that if he does stay with me, any kids would have to be his religion and for his family to take control of all religious instruction. He has now come back, and given me a choice of accepting this, or for our relationship to come to an end. He knows how important sharing my religion is to me, and when I say this, he tells me that he would make it up to me in other ways, and that this is the last thing he will ask of me. He has said that it would cause too many issues with his extended family if kids are not raised in his religion. He flat out said that he is not afraid of his mom, but he can’t say no to her. I feel like he thinks “I’m not worth the hassle” to have uncomfortable conversations with both sides of our families.
My boyfriend (I’ll call Jeff) and I have been together for 7 years, and started dating at 18. We both live with our parents, and recently we’ve been considering getting an apartment together, but nearby just in case we break up. Our plan is to move to a different state at some point. Jeff’s dad is a widower, doesn’t have contact with much of his family and has a few friends. Jeff wants to visit his dad EVERY day when we move out. And as far as moving to a different state, Jeff wants to wait until his dad retires (maybe in five years or so) so all three of us can move together. In said different state, Jeff wants to buy a house with an in-law apartment or another cottage on the property for his dad to live in.
My new husband’s family deals with a very dysfunctional and demanding personality who often engages in manipulation and argumentative behavior. As a new in-law to this family, being on the receiving end of that family member’s behavior has been jarring at best and damaging at worst; and we’ve only been married three months. My best responses have been to remain non-reactive, disengage and take distance… But this is very hard to do when my better half is at times consumed with how to manage the fallout. How do I respond in love, when everything in me wants to call this person out for their childish behavior and slowly phase them out of my life?
My boyfriend will soon become my fiancé, and although our relationship is mostly wonderful, there is one hurdle I hope to cross. My boyfriend hates my mother. In some ways, this is completely understandable. His experience with her has largely been negative. Although she likes him a lot, she has a very rocky relationship with me, and our fights have often affected my relationship with my boyfriend. When we do get married, he will become part of my family, and I don’t want our relationship with them to crumble. Is it wrong of me to ask him to be polite and civil, even to my dysfunctional mother, for the sake of me keeping a good relationship with my family?
We are sixty thousand in debt but want to have a baby. Should we?
My husband’s father and best friend both died suddenly in the past 2 years and my husband hasn’t been the same since. I’ve tried to be patient and supportive but he’s taking it out on me and our daughters.
Our teenage girls are between the ages of 16 and 19 and yet they seem very immature for their age. They are always hanging all over their dad and it’s making me jealous.
My husband is a puppet to his “spoiled rotten” daughters and I get thrown to the side. How do I take back control?
All of my extended family including siblings and cousins expect me to pay for every meal when we go out. How can I tell them no without hurting the family?
In a time of political upheaval, we must connect with those with whom we disagree.
My sister is stonewalling me. I have tried to be in her life for years but she said that she doesn’t want to be my sister anymore.
I can finally say I’ve found my prince charming. The only problem is that he’s black and my mom is pretty racist.
My veteran brother-in-law is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. What do I say when he reaches out to me?
My parents’ house is soul sucking on Christmas day, but I know I need to visit.
My boyfriend can often times be irresponsible but he has helped me to slow down and smell the roses. How can I get him to be responsible like me?
I want to keep my kids in line but I’m worried that I’m becoming aggressive. How can I teach my kids discipline without going overboard?
My new stepmother is pulling my father away from me. I want to be in his life but I regret every minute I’m around her.
I want a vacation for just the two of us. My girlfriend wants to take a long trip to introduce me to her family. Help!
During a recent trip home from college, my dad made a comment about my weight that really hurt. Now I feel self conscious.
My husband just got injured playing paintball and can’t work for a few weeks. How can I tell him it’s time to make some changes?
My mother is toxic and our relationship was always unhealthy. But since my father passed away I’m feeling pulled to reconnect. Should I?
My neighbors gave my vegetarian son a burger. I have a problem with this.
What do I do? I met a great guy but his blue collar job doesn’t line up with my family
My husband just got a 2nd DUI and won’t stop drinking. What can I do?
What should I do when my in-laws want to bring my son to the gun range?
Dear Hoopers give a lesson on how to survive politics at the family reunion