Category: Family

Faith, Family, and Future Confusion

In all of our discussions about how to raise future children, we came to the agreement that they would be raised with “both sides”. After he spoke with his mother about me and the potential for us to take the next step, she said to him that if he does stay with me, any kids would have to be his religion and for his family to take control of all religious instruction. He has now come back, and given me a choice of accepting this, or for our relationship to come to an end. He knows how important sharing my religion is to me, and when I say this, he tells me that he would make it up to me in other ways, and that this is the last thing he will ask of me. He has said that it would cause too many issues with his extended family if kids are not raised in his religion. He flat out said that he is not afraid of his mom, but he can’t say no to her. I feel like he thinks “I’m not worth the hassle” to have uncomfortable conversations with both sides of our families.

Dad is a Third Wheel

My boyfriend (I’ll call Jeff) and I have been together for 7 years, and started dating at 18. We both live with our parents, and recently we’ve been considering getting an apartment together, but nearby just in case we break up. Our plan is to move to a different state at some point. Jeff’s dad is a widower, doesn’t have contact with much of his family and has a few friends. Jeff wants to visit his dad EVERY day when we move out. And as far as moving to a different state, Jeff wants to wait until his dad retires (maybe in five years or so) so all three of us can move together. In said different state, Jeff wants to buy a house with an in-law apartment or another cottage on the property for his dad to live in.

In-Laws, Am I Right?

My new husband’s family deals with a very dysfunctional and demanding personality who often engages in manipulation and argumentative behavior. As a new in-law to this family, being on the receiving end of that family member’s behavior has been jarring at best and damaging at worst; and we’ve only been married three months. My best responses have been to remain non-reactive, disengage and take distance… But this is very hard to do when my better half is at times consumed with how to manage the fallout. How do I respond in love, when everything in me wants to call this person out for their childish behavior and slowly phase them out of my life?

Fighting for Family

My boyfriend will soon become my fiancé, and although our relationship is mostly wonderful, there is one hurdle I hope to cross. My boyfriend hates my mother. In some ways, this is completely understandable. His experience with her has largely been negative. Although she likes him a lot, she has a very rocky relationship with me, and our fights have often affected my relationship with my boyfriend. When we do get married, he will become part of my family, and I don’t want our relationship with them to crumble. Is it wrong of me to ask him to be polite and civil, even to my dysfunctional mother, for the sake of me keeping a good relationship with my family?