Take a Chance

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Dear Hoopers,
I have a crush on this guy I that I attended college with. We’re both of very different backgrounds including our families and our culture. We don’t hang out in the same circles and never ever really interacted. However, I would catch him staring at me and quickly look away when caught. This went on for about a semester, at least that’s how long I noticed. On graduation day, he stared at me and this time I stared back and he didn’t flinch. It seems as though he wanted to say something. When I reached out to him on Facebook a few days later, he responded, but I didn’t know what to make of his responses. Over the summer I moved to Cali for a job and coincidentally, he moved to attend Grad school in the same town. I’m usually able to get over a crush, but for some reason he’s been on my mind. Should I reach out to him again via Facebook? What do I say? Should I let it go?
-Take A Chance

Dear Take a Chance,
What do you have to lose? Reach out! Tell him that you noticed that he moved to the area and extend an open invitation for a welcome lunch or dinner.  He’s responded before, so my sneaking suspicion is that you won’t be left high and dry.

And side story, in September of 1972 at my mom’s freshman orientation at college, she felt the stare of a guy from across the room.  She glanced back at him and thought “what a creep” and forgot about him.  Later that month their paths crossed and they became friends. Four years later they were married and still are.

You aren’t committing to dating this guy by reaching out, but if you have genuine interest in getting to know him take action; write a message, extend an invitation to meet up, give him your cell and see what happens. College is over. Circles fizzle and people change. Tap into that mysterious chemistry in college and message your crush. It’s a new year! Take the chance.
-Kate

Dear Take a Chance,
He was the guy across the room. You were interested but unsure. You would lock eyes but it never quite led to anything. Now, here you are in a different state. Is it a coincidence that he just happened to move to your city? Not sure, but it just might be a good chance to take a shot on a relationship.

Although you guys are from different backgrounds and have really never had a conversation, I don’t see much downside here. I would reach out and keep it casual. Asking him if he would like to get a drink or coffee would be a good chance to take. Will you take it?
-Dr. Ryan