DM Drama

Submit your questions for Dear Hoopers here 

Dear Hoopers,
I have a question about my relationship with my boyfriend. So the other night a girl DMed me on instagram going on about how my boyfriend FaceTimed her and was claiming that she would be his future wife. Then she goes on saying how he cheated on her in the past and that she wasted 2 1/2 years on him along with saying that I deserve better. After that, I called my boyfriend asking what is this all about. He goes on saying that he only called her to be friends and catch up and he was just joking around with her. I then start receiving messages from the girl again where she’s sending pictures of their texts which ends up being confusing as hell since half the time they seem nice and the other half is bad. This happens all while I’m talking to him and he asks what she’s saying. He then starts to keep saying I’m not a loser and I’m not a cheater and he mentions that he has never been with the girl but just denied her every time she wanted to hang out with him and that there was only one girl ever before me. He went on and on, and after that he kept texting her saying you’re ruining our relationship, etc. I just don’t know what to do now. I have no clue if I should trust him or the girl who DMed me. It’s confusing as hell and I need the help. I hope you can help me out.
-DM Drama

Dear DM Drama,
Step away from the DM and flip off your boyfriend. He’s a cheat and a liar; and he doesn’t sound particularly good at either. I’m sure that this other woman has plenty of reasons to reveal his efforts to get back with her, but that doesn’t mean that she is lying to you. There is nothing like a woman scorned. Because of this your boyfriend is being forced to pay the price for doubling back to an old flame from the past while dating you.

Since he continued to text her behind your back all the while he is trying to convince you that he wasn’t trying to get back with her, it sounds highly suspicious. If he was truly distant from this woman, then he wouldn’t be texting her and talking to you at the same time. Often times when someone feels the need to go on and on to prove their innocence, they probably aren’t innocent.

What you do from here is up to you. If you value trust and honesty in your relationship, he may not be the right kind of guy for you. It’s not impossible for him to change, but if he professes that he is a changed man you may want to keep an eye on your DMs.
-Dr. Ryan

Dear DM Drama,
Yuck, what a mess! It’s hard to be stuck in the middle of conflicting arguments, especially when you are confused about where to find the truth. Wrap your heart around the mix and this headache central. Who are you to believe? It’s time you trust your gut to help untangle this mess.

Does your boyfriend typically call girls to “be friends and catch up?” because I’m calling a BIG BS  on that and a lot of this story. Why would a woman go through the trouble of making up an elaborate story and spend ample time contacting you if there wasn’t some truth.  Sure, sometimes people are looking to start a beef, but then she reveals text messages. Why was your boyfriend texting her? You didn’t mention what was included in the “bad” messages, but I don’t think you needed them to conclude that something was going on behind your back.

You do deserve better. She is right.  If a relationship is healthy you don’t have to worry about another woman DM’ing you to tell you that you’re being blindsided. It sounds like both your boyfriend and this woman are all about the drama, and I wouldn’t be making any time for that.