Dick Pics Got Me Stressed

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Dear Hoopers,
Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 2 years. I went on his phone a while ago and saw that he was on kik. I looked at one conversation and saw that he sent a dick pic to some chick. I asked him about it and he said he didn’t know he did. He then said that he’d block her and get rid of kik. Should I believe him?
-Dick Pics Got Me Stressed

Dear Dick Pics Got Me Stressed,
No. Nope. Can’t do it. If I found nude pics sent from my fiancé’s phone, I couldn’t simply believe him and move on. More needs to happen here to move forward as a couple and the burden is on him to do so. At least he acknowledged that he made a mistake and that he needed to make some changes but more is required.

Exposing your nude body to another person is an act of intimacy. While it may not be on the same level as a physical act, it is still a violation of the commitment to your relationship and should be treated that way. Why did he find himself on kik and how did he get to a point of sharing pictures of his nude body with someone? What was he hoping would come out of this? There are many reasons someone might share a nude picture, I think it will be important for him to have an open conversation with you about his reasons.


It is still a violation of the commitment to your relationship and should be treated that way

-Dr. Ryan

Also, while it is possible that one dick pic is all that happened it could also be the tip of the iceberg. I would ask him about other aspects of physical intimacy including but not limited to pornography. I’m not sure how you feel about pornography but I think it’s important that you two are open about it one way or another.

Lastly, the problem is not just the fact that dick pics occurred, but that it suggests his willingness to violate the emotional boundaries of your relationship. I would put the burden on him to prove that he will take steps to prevent this from happening again.
-Dr. Ryan

Dear Dick Pics Got Me Stressed,
Your fiancé just sent a picture of his genitalia on a secret app to another woman and then lied about it. Do you think you should trust him? More importantly, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who is taking cock shots behind your back?

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he continued this behavior, especially after lying to you about sending the pictures. If he had owned up to it, the situation would still be bad, but he was dishonest. It’s not just about sending a picture of his penis, it’s about what he was implying by sending a picture of his penis. Hint, he wasn’t just looking for an ego boost. What possesses someone to whip out their package and send it digitally is beyond me. What I do know is that you were an afterthought while he was performing this deliberate act. It was disrespectful and dishonest.


Do you think you should trust him?

-Kate

Unless this is acceptable behavior in your relationship, I would not brush this under the rug. Do I think you need to call it off? Maybe or maybe not, but I cannot voice louder the importance of getting expectations and values on the same page before nuptials. If dishonestly persists, tough love, kick him to the curb.
-Kate